Post by LiLisAnAngel on Nov 18, 2003 22:32:54 GMT -5
I used to take what I had for granted
You were here with us, and I loved you
But i didn't know how much until you were gone..
That day, you have no idea how much I cried..
I just hugged my aunt and uncle tight...wondering why..
I remember just the night before..
I was at your bedside. You were smiling, recovering from surgery.
You were walking around..we were making christmas plans..
But this wednesday, november 19, is the 3rd year that I've cried, knowing that day was the day that ruined my life..
I can't tell you enough how many regrets I have..
For not making the most of our time
even though we spent a lot of time together
I never knew really how much I needed you
I can't get the picture out of my face..when we went to say our goodbyes..
You looked so peaceful--and happy..
It's just so hard, to think about the words I want to say..because I cant find any to fit right.
There isn't a good enough word to explain how I feel and how much I love you..
I wish I had one more day, i'd make the most of it, I would..
If i just had one last DAY, I wish I had said I love you before we left your side, but all i did, was try to smile and keep back the tears, i don't know why i was upset, but I looked at you on your bed and said "Get better soon..We'll see you tomorrow"
I walked down the empty hall, looking in your room, everything the way you left it.
Boston bruins posters everywhere--they are now my favorite team.
You didn't even marry..have kids..you didn't have a chance to..But you loved Tyler like your own, i love him because hes my little cousin. I swore to you I'd take good care of him, and I will.
I wish you got to see Brandon, hes almost 2. He's so cute, he looks a bit like you.
You know what breaks my heart the most? Is that tyler is young and he doesn't understand.
When people used to call after they didn't hear the news looking for you, he'd answer and go "no hes not here. He's in heaven"
I remember one of the last things we did together..
Me, Danielle, Mike, You and tyler were getting pumpkins for Halloween.
I sat with you, and tyler and had our pictures taken on the big pumpkin patch.
You were so happy, did you know it snowed today?
You loved the snow...you started playing christmas music in July. You were always crazy yet fun, like that.
I remember the times we built snowmen, or little forts, and had snowball fights.
The last snowfall we had before u left us, we had fun.
Remember the snowfall of '96? We rode on the Snow mobile! 6 feet of snow, the cars couldn't get anywhere, so we went having fun on the snow mobile.
You were also my protector. You'd always say...
"When you bring guys home, i'll be on the front step, to scare them, ask them questions, to make sure they are good enough for you. if they aren't i'll throw them out"
You were like a second dad..
I just wish I could speak to you and you speak back..
I miss u so bad it hurts me inside..
It rained on your funeral..thats a good omen, it means your okay. then it was sunny. I could feel your presence, and as they laid you to rest i couldn't see cuz i cried so much..why? WHY did it have to be YOU?
You were a good person! you were loved..
You had a good heart, why was it your time to leave?
I need you, we all do..
I love you..
that was so touching.. I was meaning to write u a post, but I'll just write it here instead... I'm so sorry, sweetie... So sorry.. 
