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Post by ADH7901 on Jan 11, 2004 1:38:10 GMT -5
I'm sick of living in shame
and silence
and pain
hidden in the darkness
in the shadows
just so I don't have to deal with reality
why can't you take me the way I'm meant to be?
I'm sick of lying
sick of trying
sick of dying
I don't want to please you anymore
don't make me try anymore
I just can't do it
that's why I'm finally doing it
for real this time
I'm not going to back down
like I always have
I just can't do it anymore
I'm tired of hiding
and if you can't accept me
I'm sorry
for you
because this is me...
the real me
and I'm not lying to you or myself anymore
I'm done, I'm through
no more lying to me
no more lying to you
I'm coming out of my shell
I don't care what you think anymore
I'm me, always have been
love me or hate me
this is me, theres no changing that
so deal with it or not
I honestly don't care
I'm exhausted from faking
its time to be real.
Okay, so it didn't rhyme...but its how I feel. Its time for me to be real. I'm finally being myself now, and I don't even care anymore. If I live like I am right now for much longer, I won't survive...so, I'm finally going to be honest to everyone. Everyone. And if they don't love me for who I am...well, I feel sorry for them...because I am a good person...I know I am, I don't care what any hypocritical bigots say...anyone who knows me should know that. And hopefully, they will. And if not, well...I'll survive. At least now I'm being open and honest about myself. And it feels so good.
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Post by LuvLiyah4life on Jan 11, 2004 9:31:17 GMT -5
I'm so proud of you, Chris.. I really am...
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Post by LiLisAnAngel on Jan 11, 2004 10:27:13 GMT -5
You ARE a good person chris, and like anny said, I'm so proud of you. You're so smart and mature.  |
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Post by ADH7901 on Jan 11, 2004 10:36:41 GMT -5
awwww thank you both *hugs* I love you both so much...you both have helped me through so many tough times *hugs*  |
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Post by Ma on Jan 11, 2004 10:44:48 GMT -5
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Post by LiLisAnAngel on Jan 11, 2004 11:02:44 GMT -5
awwww thank you both *hugs* I love you both so much...you both have helped me through so many tough times *hugs* *hugs* i'm happy I was there for you. you're such an awesome friend chris |
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Post by ADH7901 on Jan 11, 2004 12:46:23 GMT -5
*hugs* i'm happy I was there for you. you're such an awesome friend chris and so are you!! |
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Post by EternalFlame7901 on Jan 11, 2004 12:51:40 GMT -5
I'm sick of living in shame and silence and pain hidden in the darkness in the shadows just so I don't have to deal with reality why can't you take me the way I'm meant to be? I'm sick of lying sick of trying sick of dying I don't want to please you anymore don't make me try anymore I just can't do it that's why I'm finally doing it for real this time I'm not going to back down like I always have I just can't do it anymore I'm tired of hiding and if you can't accept me I'm sorry for you because this is me... the real me and I'm not lying to you or myself anymore I'm done, I'm through no more lying to me no more lying to you I'm coming out of my shell I don't care what you think anymore I'm me, always have been love me or hate me this is me, theres no changing that so deal with it or not I honestly don't care I'm exhausted from faking its time to be real. Okay, so it didn't rhyme...but its how I feel. Its time for me to be real. I'm finally being myself now, and I don't even care anymore. If I live like I am right now for much longer, I won't survive...so, I'm finally going to be honest to everyone. Everyone. And if they don't love me for who I am...well, I feel sorry for them...because I am a good person...I know I am, I don't care what any hypocritical bigots say...anyone who knows me should know that. And hopefully, they will. And if not, well...I'll survive. At least now I'm being open and honest about myself. And it feels so good. No, Chris... you're wrong. You're an AMAZING person. I love you for everything that you are, and others should, too. You're singing the right song now... if they don't, f*ck em... excuse the language, but it's the truth. You are wonderful exactly the way you are... and if someone lets biggotry get in the way of seeing that, then they have the problem... and they're the ones who need to change. |
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Post by ADH7901 on Jan 11, 2004 12:57:08 GMT -5
awwww Amanda *blushes* you know I feel the same way about you...you're just so amazing! Especially considering your age; I mean, I hardly know anyone half as compassionate, caring, intellectual (I could go on and on) who is TWICE your age! You're going to go far...and when you do, don't forget about little old me! ;D You're amazing, and I love you so much!
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Post by EternalFlame7901 on Jan 11, 2004 13:11:11 GMT -5
awwww Amanda *blushes* you know I feel the same way about you...you're just so amazing! Especially considering your age; I mean, I hardly know anyone half as compassionate, caring, intellectual (I could go on and on) who is TWICE your age! You're going to go far...and when you do, don't forget about little old me! ;D You're amazing, and I love you so much! Awwwwww... *seriously blushes* I could never, EVER forget about you. Trust that you will go far in life, too... so we can go far together. ;D |
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Post by ADH7901 on Jan 11, 2004 13:17:41 GMT -5
Awwwwww... *seriously blushes* I could never, EVER forget about you. Trust that you will go far in life, too... so we can go far together. ;D lol *ooh* that will be fun...we can traverse the road of life together...and we'll go far... *in whiny, panicky valley girl voice* but OMG, what am I going to wear?  lol  |
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Post by EternalFlame7901 on Jan 11, 2004 13:37:59 GMT -5
lol *ooh* that will be fun...we can traverse the road of life together...and we'll go far... *in whiny, panicky valley girl voice* but OMG, what am I going to wear? lol *same voice* OMG! I like so totally don't know! Wow... like... what a hard decision... |
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Post by LuvLiyah4life on Jan 11, 2004 15:55:34 GMT -5
awwww thank you both *hugs* I love you both so much...you both have helped me through so many tough times *hugs* aaaaw..baby.. I'll always be here for u.. Like I know you'll be here for me... I love u so much... **hugs** |
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Post by Krissy2003 on Jan 11, 2004 18:03:21 GMT -5
if people cant accept u for who u r, just kick them to the curb..Chris im so proud of u, because i know people who are hiding..not letting themselves show..worried of what people are going to think..
u are so strong, and ur beyond amazing in my book..
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Post by ADH7901 on Jan 11, 2004 20:02:32 GMT -5
krissy and anny...what you both said...wow...you are both so amazing... anny, i know you will be here for me...and its part of what keeps going...just knowing you're here for me....i care about u so much krissy, i know what you are talking about far too well. that used to be me. but i'm so sick of it...but dont call me amazing...i'm just trying to be honest...ur the amazing one amanda: *still same voice* OMG, OMG, OMG! OMG, I totally don't have a good outift! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OMG, we TOTALLY have to go shopping now! OMG! lol |
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lol 
